i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
