I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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