i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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