I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize