What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
