went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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