We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize