I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Who died my cat blue again?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
