Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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