he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
