Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
