Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
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This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
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Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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