xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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