he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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