My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
