I wanna bring you to show and tell
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
