Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
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if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
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but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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