she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just forgot I was standing up.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
