i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
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A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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