Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
