They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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