we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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