He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize