my professor just said "the power of the situation"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
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This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
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i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it