Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
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I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
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Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.