I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.