Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...

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  (330): How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there... http://tfl.nu/bdjq
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before

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  (702): The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before http://tfl.nu/ogqr
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  (209): View more from California

  just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment

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  (209): just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment http://tfl.nu/1qk7
  Replies (6) Good night (2495) Bad night (661)
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  (951): View more from California

  As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it

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  (951): As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it http://tfl.nu/zufl
  Replies (9) Good night (2325) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  handjob tips. give me some.

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  (314): handjob tips. give me some. http://tfl.nu/678j
  Replies (76) Good night (4183) Bad night (1473) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.

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  (580): I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/vucu
  Replies (18) Good night (6622) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.

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  (913): I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like. http://tfl.nu/zoxi
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.

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  (317): im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like. http://tfl.nu/djvv
  Replies (21) Good night (1141) Bad night (5405) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.

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  (902): Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines. http://tfl.nu/9k5b
  Replies (12) Good night (4604) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.

  (1-818): View more from California

  And this was for your brother's Christening?

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  (818): It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons. (1-818): And this was for your brother's Christening? http://tfl.nu/dxaq
  Replies (9) Good night (3508) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy

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  (315): There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy http://tfl.nu/q2vq
  Replies (6) Good night (1700) Bad night (3191) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.

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  (410): I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in. http://tfl.nu/o54w
  Replies (2) Good night (1730) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times

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  (775): My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times http://tfl.nu/d78u
  Replies (15) Good night (4050) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.

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  (443): she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise. http://tfl.nu/igb9
  Replies (9) Good night (2184) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.

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  (918): Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages. http://tfl.nu/6dga
  Replies (5) Good night (1171) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt

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