you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
