Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
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What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
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Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"