I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
