Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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