we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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