Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.

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  (925): Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back. http://tfl.nu/vsft
  Replies (22) Good night (676) Bad night (1456)
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  (310): View more from California

  All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive

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  (310): All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive http://tfl.nu/gj7g
  Replies (4) Good night (1416) Bad night (558)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"

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  (208): Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores" http://tfl.nu/e2re
  Replies (37) Good night (1042) Bad night (8760)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

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  (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/v9ss
  Replies (131) Good night (62252) Bad night (2421)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her

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  (954): had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her http://tfl.nu/teql
  Replies (15) Good night (1096) Bad night (5523)
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  (754): View more from Florida

  I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.

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  (754): I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris. http://tfl.nu/pib9
  Replies (8) Good night (4887) Bad night (1032)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.

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  (614): There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs. http://tfl.nu/ysqt
  Replies (10) Good night (3284) Bad night (1262)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...

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  (217): If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out... http://tfl.nu/9czx
  Replies (1) Good night (1184) Bad night (655)
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  (714): View more from California

  I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.

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  (714): I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished. http://tfl.nu/d04x
  Replies (12) Good night (5173) Bad night (551)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.

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  (863): Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house. http://tfl.nu/4quh
  Replies (6) Good night (998) Bad night (482)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?

  (512): View more from Texas

  It was just one of those nights, man.

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  (512): I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something. (1-512): Why was his mouth around your nose anyways? (512): It was just one of those nights, man. http://tfl.nu/4s6y
  Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (671)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.

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  (309): Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros. http://tfl.nu/cejf
  Replies (5) Good night (621) Bad night (309)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"

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  (970): Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around" http://tfl.nu/om2l
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (210)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.

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  (727): It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood. http://tfl.nu/vd60
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (232)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself

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  (518): i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself http://tfl.nu/xmm2
  Replies (2) Good night (353) Bad night (233)

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