It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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