She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball