Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Did you just throw up mid-sentence?

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  (202): Did you just throw up mid-sentence? http://tfl.nu/vo8s
  Replies (2) Good night (993) Bad night (681)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  i'd get off the bar first.

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  (216): my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing? (1-216): i'd get off the bar first. http://tfl.nu/xsi2
  Replies (18) Good night (707) Bad night (2870)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.

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  (810): I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck. http://tfl.nu/kfpi
  Replies (5) Good night (2722) Bad night (1131)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.

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  (708): so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me. http://tfl.nu/mwnt
  Replies (58) Good night (14443) Bad night (1311)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.

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  (781): picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already. http://tfl.nu/ugv0
  Replies (7) Good night (3792) Bad night (741)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!

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  (816): Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?! http://tfl.nu/dodw
  Replies (15) Good night (1096) Bad night (7094)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...

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  (501): So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike... http://tfl.nu/h9ar
  Replies (10) Good night (1219) Bad night (3900)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up

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  (514): she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up http://tfl.nu/zucc
  Replies (10) Good night (2058) Bad night (984)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter

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  (717): Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter http://tfl.nu/zraa
  Replies (5) Good night (567) Bad night (1658)
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  (631): View more from New York

  In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.

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  (631): In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out. http://tfl.nu/wzbc
  Replies (4) Good night (3279) Bad night (597)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  possibly by boat

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  (610): he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him (610): possibly by boat http://tfl.nu/q00b
  Replies (3) Good night (1051) Bad night (417)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.

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  (+44): don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused. http://tfl.nu/f355
  Replies (7) Good night (2205) Bad night (356)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.

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  (806): We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish. http://tfl.nu/et7p
  Replies (3) Good night (490) Bad night (424)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.

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  (253): T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night. http://tfl.nu/lo7s
  Replies (0) Good night (394) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him

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  (425): When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him http://tfl.nu/g8jv
  Replies (4) Good night (458) Bad night (348)

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