so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.