Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
