Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.