i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
