Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
vagina is talking i cant
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
