there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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