"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
