He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
