your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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