i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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