the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
