she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
