So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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