yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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