I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
jump out the window naked night went bad
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
