He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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