I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
