we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
