well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
