Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
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bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
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I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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