I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
