All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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