elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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