He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
