Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Randomize
