I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
