I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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