does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize