and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
