she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
