I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i now understand why vodka
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize