Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
