then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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