There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
