He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
