your thong is hanging out like whoa
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
