Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
