i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
