a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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